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Top Ten Reasons For False-Positive VDRL
by - 1136 reads, based on 3 votes
10. Recent blood-meal.
9. False chancre on genitals.
8. Receptive anal intercourse with vagrant with false positive VDRL.
7. Primary care provider lisps, just trying to get him/her to say "thiphillith".
6. Phlebotomist not wearing condom during blood draw
5. You are married to the junior Senator from the great state of New York
4. Painless ulcer on dildo.
3. Got testing done at Discount Serology Shack ... where your VDRL's positive, or the next one's FREE!
2. Sex with world-renowned sitar master Ravi Chancre
1. Recently chewing Trident Sugarless Gumma
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123
by - 1529 reads, 0 votes
After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to get it up anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke....
The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '1 2 3' and it shall...
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Sexually Active!
by - 2336 reads, based on 8 votes
While assisting in an exam on a young women who was presented to the ER with lower abdominal pains, the doctor asked her if she were sexually active. The young woman appeared slightly embarrassed by the question, but replied, "No, I just lay there."
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Prescription
by - 1382 reads, based on 2 votes
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..." ...
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Surgeons
by - 1207 reads, based on 2 votes
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first surgeon said, "I think that accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second surgeon said, "I think that librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything is in alphabetical order."
The third surgeon said, "I think that electricians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I think that lawyers are the easiest to operate on. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable."
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