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Dr_Akil
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An Anthology of anonyms - random musings of a very random gu
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 10:14:18 PM (1 year ago)
#1
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When the Chatter-box shuts down ...
My talk is an expression on the surface,
Of the tumultuous turbulence that dwell deep within,
My talks are not my escape away from silence,
But a journey towards the same.
Every word that I utter has been a mask,
A mask that I wear to hide the lost child in me,
A desperate soul madly in pursuit of peace and a purpose,
In a journey towards .... Silence.
Hungry and tired ... but still on the run ...
I know what I am running for,
But, know not where, in darkness, abandoned to run all alone ...
Groping for the hand that held him closer, earlier ...
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K_Sara_Sara
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 10:19:33 PM (1 year ago)
#2
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Hey Akil.. just wanted to be the 1st...
..not only to go thru' ur "random" musings........
..but to appreciate them too.. 
..a suggestion from my side....
..u write really well....
..and ur expressions are Fab'....
..why don't u turn this into ur Blog...
..where u can not only think randomly......
..but post ur Random Musings too.........
..and i shall be anything but a "Random" Visitor .. !!!
..Regards,
Sara.....
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Dr_Akil
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 10:40:21 PM (1 year ago)
#3
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| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
Hey Akil.. just wanted to be the 1st...
..not only to go thru' ur "random" musings........
..but to appreciate them too..
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Thanks ...
| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
..a suggestion from my side....
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| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
..u write really well....
..and ur expressions are Fab'....
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:shocked:
| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
..why don't u turn this into ur Blog...
..where u can not only think randomly......
..but post ur Random Musings too.........
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Exactly my thoughts ... but I had been so much possessive about my thoughts ...
To speak the truth from the morning I had been struggling over the dilemma if I should write or not ... sitting in front of computer lost in this eternal conflict in me ... whether to stay possessive with those deep thoughts or to write ...
Didn't even eat ... bathe ... just lost in the conflict.
Wrote a long post in the morning but never posted it ... just thought I'd write the essence of it all ... in a few words ... as against the chatter-box self that others see more often!
| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
..and i shall be anything but a "Random" Visitor .. !!!
..Regards,
Sara..... |
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Dr_Akil
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 10:46:53 PM (1 year ago)
#4
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I hated to spend my life standing with the first leg lifted (deliberating on whether to place it ahead or not!) and have placed my first step ... successfully.
Now that I have placed the first step ... time to go and have a cool bathe in the rains outside and perhaps eat something ... stomach burning! lol
Mom will more upset if I don't go now and am leaving for now ...
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K_Sara_Sara
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 10:53:20 PM (1 year ago)
#5
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| Akil wrote: |
.......Exactly my thoughts ... but I had been so much possessive about my thoughts ...
To speak the truth from the morning I had been struggling over the dilemma if I should write or not ... sitting in front of computer lost in this eternal conflict in me ... whether to stay possessive with those deep thoughts or to write ...
Didn't even eat ... bathe ... just lost in the conflict.
Wrote a long post in the morning but never posted it ... just thought I'd write the essence of it all ... in a few words ... as against the chatter-box self that others see more often! |
..well i "read" ur mind it seems......
..but genuinely speaking.. take my words...
..as "appreciation".. not flattery.........
..whut u lock deep inside.. i could "sense"....
.."randomly"..... n so gave u the suggestion......
..i shall be only too happy.........
..to find another "soul".. whose mind "chatters"......
..so m waiting.... !!
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missb2
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Preparing for: Australia
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:06:08 PM (1 year ago)
#6
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its really very nice..
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clueless
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Re: An Anthology of anonyms - random musings of a very rando
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:14:37 PM (1 year ago)
#7
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| Dr_Akil wrote: |
Groping for the hand that held him closer, earlier ...
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...
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Dr_Akil
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:24:14 PM (1 year ago)
#8
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| K_Sara_Sara wrote: |
| Akil wrote: |
.......Exactly my thoughts ... but I had been so much possessive about my thoughts ...
To speak the truth from the morning I had been struggling over the dilemma if I should write or not ... sitting in front of computer lost in this eternal conflict in me ... whether to stay possessive with those deep thoughts or to write ...
Didn't even eat ... bathe ... just lost in the conflict.
Wrote a long post in the morning but never posted it ... just thought I'd write the essence of it all ... in a few words ... as against the chatter-box self that others see more often! |
..well i "read" ur mind it seems......
..but genuinely speaking.. take my words...
..as "appreciation".. not flattery.........
..whut u lock deep inside.. i could "sense"....
.."randomly"..... n so gave u the suggestion......
..i shall be only too happy.........
..to find another "soul".. whose mind "chatters"......
..so m waiting.... !! |
A snapshot of mind ...
In this fast world, not everyone gets time to spend with all those in need .... So this will be a snapshot of my mind in that instance ... or almost near that instance.
My closest people have had me unable to express my thoughts. This is something like some photo sharing community ... just that instead of photos, it is a snapshot my mind stored here ... partly!
I write here so I can just give the link for my people to read and can have a look into the 'past' later in future - So they can see the frozen frame of my mind!
I thought I'd write in rxbds ... I thought I'd write in some blog ... I thought I'd not write at all ... So, why did I decide to write here ?
I had built a 'block' towards rxpgonline for few reasons! And, whether it is people or place, it is not a good to have a permanent 'block' and I thought I'd just come out of the block and hence this writing is an expression of the same ...
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Dr_Akil
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:31:18 PM (1 year ago)
#9
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| missb2 wrote: |
| its really very nice.. |
...
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missb2
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:39:36 PM (1 year ago)
#10
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hi akil..
i really appreciate ur sweet little thinking or i should say a big.. deep one wid a cute way of representation.. dat poem which u have written n d snapshot really awesum..out of d world.. not doing falttering .just saying wat i feel after reading dat.. really appreciate ...
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Dr_Akil
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Re: An Anthology of anonyms - random musings of a very rando
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Tuesday 25th of November 2008 11:48:44 PM (1 year ago)
#11
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| clueless wrote: |
| Dr_Akil wrote: |
Groping for the hand that held him closer, earlier ...
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Yes, that was a snapshot of my thoughts from past ...
I never realised that I was only as much lonely as I thought myself to be ... in other words, it was my own perception during one of the most turbulent times in the recent past.
I was groping in the dark for the hand that held me closer ... earlier .... I never realised that the hand that held mine long ago was no longer holding my hand but holding me in in embrace now ...
What I reveal here see here will mostly be like looking via telescope ... what we look now is actually the past ... I am still possessive about the thoughts that run in me at present ... and have troubles expressing it in the way I should be ...
I am just bringing myself to reveal it to atleast some of my closest ones !!! I wish I do ... instead of beating about the bush that I always do ... masking myself ....<<< This is one frequent complaint that I get from my people!*
note: *my people is my way of connoting all those that are dear to me - my family and my extended family (my blood-unrelated but soulfully related well wishers!)
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Dr_Akil
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Wednesday 26th of November 2008 12:35:42 AM (1 year ago)
#12
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| missb2 wrote: |
hi akil..
i really appreciate ur sweet little thinking or i should say a big.. deep one wid a cute way of representation.. dat poem which u have written n d snapshot really awesum..out of d world.. not doing falttering .just saying wat i feel after reading dat.. really appreciate ... |
I am just another human ... with thoughts as much as anyone else ... that I should look into myself was by itself inspired by someone that "holds" me in embrace ...
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Dr_Akil
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Wednesday 26th of November 2008 12:52:30 AM (1 year ago)
#13
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A leaf out of the post not posted ...
Behind the gabbing mouth, is a silent heart
In the heart, a darkness remains,
In the darkness, is a lonely soul,
The lonely soul of a lost child ...
In pursuit of peace and purpose ...
In search for the silence in his heart ...
Just that the search is not lonely anymore
Still a lost kid ... but lost in a different way ...
Lost in the embrace and care of someone ...
For once, I am happy to be lost!
I am in search of a 'name' this special person in future posts of mine .. I do have some name in mind ... but still want to have other's suggestions. Suggestions are welcome!
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Dr_Akil
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Wednesday 26th of November 2008 03:16:29 PM (1 year ago)
#14
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A snapshot from past ... when someone 'proposed' to me!
Two kids of standard seven ..
One was me and the other let us name "D"
A briefing about the two. It was the class leader me
And a new one year old entrant to the school - "D"
One day "D" walked upto me,
"You are so wonderful, I like you...", says "D"
Proud as peacock, with head held high
I refused and "D" left with an imperceptible sigh ...
A year and one more later,
Things got better and we got closer together ...
A year and two later, we parted ways in career ...
Me, to become a dentist, and "D" an engineer
We came, we met, we came closer ...
So what? This is a common story everywhere?
Nay, this one is different
cuz .... "D" was a boy and he proposed to be my friend!!!
I had refused in proud words back then saying,
"I believe in friendship, but not in friends"
Ashamed now ...
But too proud to know it then!
We became friends anyway...
Me in here and he half way across the globe now.
He is one of those few,
A few close to my heart ... my soul even!
This was one unique proposal
Proposal from someone who became special,
First proposal it was,
One of its kind and the last one ever!
One, thanks to God,that never got written off,
No fine print to read ... no daunting tasks to fulfill...
He is one of those few that I address fondly...
Very fondly as "my people" - my extended family
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Dr_Akil
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Wednesday 26th of November 2008 03:20:06 PM (1 year ago)
#15
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A silent word of prayer ...
God, take my heart, take my soul,
Through my heart, bore a hole,
But may I never bring a tear
To those, that love me, to those that care.
Bring them joy ...
Let us share
For them, let me ever be there,
May I show them nothing, but love and care!
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Dr_Akil
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Wednesday 26th of November 2008 05:45:41 PM (1 year ago)
#16
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... A silent penance in repentance ...
Dammed within is a turmoil,
A raging fire that brings my soul to boil,
I trust in Divine, I trust in love,
I trust in the lovely Divine,
I trust in that Divinely love,
Expending myself in a silent penance,
In repentance.
I lie waiting ...
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Dr_Akil
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Thursday 27th of November 2008 01:49:21 PM (1 year ago)
#17
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... A tribute to offbeat ... and hats off to offbeaters ...
I find love, care and affection so much filled in here ... in offbeat ... (I am deliberately turning a blind eye to jerks around here ... after all we have them everywhere ... and they aren't worth our time and attention!!!) ...
People striving to make others feel better ... lifting them up in their times of distress ... when the world around goes about mad at others success and rejoices in failures and falls of others, here I find souls sharing the burden of others, ready to shed a tear for other's pains and agony ... spreading smiles and cheers ... kudos to the spirit of offbeaters ... spreading hope ...
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Dr_Akil
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Thursday 27th of November 2008 01:54:47 PM (1 year ago)
#18
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... Missing Myself ...
I missed a lot of fun earlier in life ... and even in here ... Today, for instance, I stumbled across the 'comments and compliments' thread!
I mention that thread because, it brings me memories of people ... those in my real life and few that I came to know from rxpg or rxbds ... Some no more in touch, but some still there with me ... I love you p'pl, and I miss you ... Each day I get to know more .... more about you all ... something new about myself ... new people ... and more of love ... care ... affection ... but still I feel the yearning within ... because ...
[size=17]
I am missing .... I am missing someone a lot ... I am missing myself because I am missing someone ... someone so dear to me ...
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Dr_Akil
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Thursday 27th of November 2008 02:06:34 PM (1 year ago)
#19
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Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. ~Lamartine
Whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."
I sit by my window & think of you
A silent whisper a silent tear
With all my Heart i wish you were here
If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.
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Dr_Akil
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Thursday 27th of November 2008 02:33:59 PM (1 year ago)
#20
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... Few months ago even, I have never imagined I'd miss a friend so much ever again ... Been years since I last missed someone so much ... someone that I lost due to my follies ... And I never thought I'd write in here about things and persons I missed or that I'd express how much I miss this special friend that I am missing now ... but I just did! hmmmmmm. You know you love someone when the mere thought of losing them brings you to tears. I know I will NEVER lose this friend ever, but still I am teary ... because I miss this friend ...
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